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Naikan is
a Japanese word which means "inside looking" or
"introspection." A more poetic translation is
"seeing oneself with the mind's eye." It is a structured
method of self- reflection that helps us to understand ourselves,
our relationships and the fundamental nature of human existence.
Naikan was developed by Yoshimoto Ishin (1916-1988), a devout
Buddhist of the Jodo Shinshu sect in Japan. His strong religious
spirit led him to practice mishirabe, an arduous and difficult
method of meditation. Wishing to make such introspection available
to others, he developed Naikan as a method that could be more
widely practiced.
Naikan
broadens our view of reality. It's as if, standing on top of a
mountain, we shift from a zoom lens to a wide-angle lens. Now we
can appreciate the broader panorama - our former perspective still
included, but accompanied by much that had been hidden. And that
which was hidden makes the view extraordinary.
The Three
Questions
Naikan
reflection is based on three questions:
-
What have I received from ..........?
- What
have I given to ..........?
- What
troubles and difficulties have I caused ..........?
These
questions provide a foundation for reflecting on relationships
with others such as parents, friends, teachers, siblings, work
associates, children, and partners. We can reflect on ourselves in
relation to pets, or even objects which serve us such as cars and
pianos. In each case, we search for a more realistic view of our
conduct and of the give and take which has occurred in the
relationship.
In
examining our relationship with another we begin by looking at
what we have received from that person. My wife made me fresh
squeezed orange juice this morning. A colleague sent me a
calligraphy pen. A man at the motor vehicle office gave me an
application for renewal of my driver's license. These are all
simple, clear descriptions of reality. The other person's attitude
or motivation does not change the fact that I benefited from his
or her effort. Often we take such things for granted. We hurry
through our day giving little attention to all the
"little" things we are receiving. But are these things
really "little?" It only seems so because we are being
supported and our attention is elsewhere. But when we run out of
gas or lose our glasses, these little things grab our attention
and suddenly we realize their true importance. As we list what we
receive from another person we are grounded in the simple reality
of how we have been supported and cared for. In many cases we may
be surprised at the length or importance of such a list and a
deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation may be naturally
stimulated. Without a conscious shift of attention to the myriad
ways in which the world supports us, we risk our attention being
trapped by only problems and obstacles, leaving us to linger in
suffering and self-pity.
Next we
take a look at the other side of the equation. What have I given
to the other person? Yoshimoto was a businessman. Each month he
would send out statements to his customers and receive similar
statements from suppliers. Here are products that were sent and
the amount of money received. We receive a similar statement from
the bank regarding our checking account. This tells us, to the
penny, what our balance is. If we take the efforts of others for
granted, we live as if we were "entitled" to such
efforts.
If we
resent it when people do not fulfill our expectations, we live as
if we deserve whatever we want. As we reflect on our
relationships, one by one, we begin to see the reality of our
life. What is more appropriate - to go through life with the
mission of collecting what is owed us, or to go through life
trying to repay our debt to others? Even if you think you know the
answer, it is not the same as discovering the answer.
The third
and final question is the most difficult of all. Mostly we are
aware of how other people cause us inconvenience or difficulty.
Perhaps somebody cuts us off in traffic, or maybe the person in
front of us at the post office has a lot of packages and we are
kept waiting. We notice such incidents with great proficiency. But
when we are the source of the trouble or inconvenience, we often
don't notice it at all. Or if we do, we think, "it was an
accident" or "I didn't mean it", or perhaps we
simply dismiss it as "not such a big deal." But this
question is truly important. Yoshimoto suggested that when we
reflect on ourselves, we spend at least 60% of the time
considering how we have caused others trouble. His words are
echoed by the lives of Franklin, Schweitzer and St. Augustine. If
we are not willing to see and accept those events in which we have
been the source of others' suffering, than we cannot truly know
ourselves or the grace by which we live.
The
Practice of Naikan
Naikan is
a practice of self-reflection and, as such, one must devote time
and effort to practicing. This may involve as little as twenty
minutes at the end of the day (daily Naikan) or a week's retreat
in which one reflects on one's entire life each day for sixteen
hours and does little else but eat and sleep. In any case, without
practice, Naikan remains only an elegant theory, floating above
our lives like a cloud. The basic types of Naikan reflection are:
Daily
Naikan
(Nichijo
Naikan)
This is
the simplest method of Naikan reflection and requires 20-30
minutes before bedtime. Sitting in a quiet place, without
distraction, write down the answer to the three questions in
relation to the day's events. What did you receive from others
today? What did you give to others today? What troubles and
difficulties did you cause others today? It is important to be
specific rather than general. For example, rather than state that
you received food today, write down the actual food that you
received and ate today. Don't leave items off your list because
they seem "trivial" or you receive them everyday; it is
quite important to notice and list just such items.
Naikan
Reflection on a Person
This is
the basis of the traditional Naikan method in which we examine our
lives by reflecting on our relationships with others. Generally, I
suggest using periods of 50-60 minutes for reflection. For each
hour or so of reflection, we examine our relationship during a
specific period of time. Usually we proceed chronologically,
beginning with the day we first met the person. The time period we
examine may be as little as a week or as much as 3-4 years,
depending on how long we have known the person. For example, let's
say a man has been married for fifteen years and prior to
marriage, dated his present wife for three years. In this case he
might first reflect on the dating period prior to his wedding.
Subsequently, he would examine his marriage in 2-3 year increments
until he reached the present day. As an ongoing practice, he might
reflect on his marriage at the end of each month. He would
continue to use 50-60 minute time periods to reflect and apply the
basic Naikan questions to his relationship regardless of whether
he was examining the past month or the three years he and his wife
dated. Relationships with parents, siblings, teachers, and friends
can be examined in a similar fashion with three year periods being
generally applied unless the person has been known for only a
short time.
It is
also possible to identify a period of time - particularly one
which was experienced as challenging or difficult -- and do Naikan
on your experience during that time.
The Naikan
Retreat
(Shuchu
Naikan)
Suppose
you could go away for one week to a small mountain hut. It's quiet
and secluded. All your needs are provided for. Your meals are
brought to your room. Your laundry and dishes are washed. You're
awakened early in the morning and a evening bell tells you it's
bedtime. There are no phone calls to answer or bills in the mail.
There is no casual chatter and little noise. There is simply
silence, a place to sit, and a screen to watch. And on that screen
is the story of your life. It's based on a script, but not the
revised, edited script you brought with you. No, this is reality's
original draft - what really happened. There is nothing for you to
do each day but watch this movie. What would you learn about
yourself? What would you learn about your life? At the end of the
week, when you return home, filled with an expanded knowledge of
how you have lived, how will you then live?
"A
hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life
depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I
must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have
received and am still receiving."
-
Albert Einstein
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